Laura
by rain01721
Summary: Clint Barton has a sister. She's not a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, in fact, he doesn't even know if she knows he exists anymore, but he needs to find her. (Laura's incorporation in to A:AoU, but with Clintasha)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or The Avengers.**

 **And yes, Clint's sister is called Laura on purpose.**

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 **19 FEBUARY 1987**

All I see is a flash of red and the entire car flips.

"MOM! DAD!"

"Honey, are you okay?"

"I'm-"

"We're all okay, mom."

"You three are gonna make it out of here okay? You're all gonna make it out of here alive."

I wake up in hospital and Barney tells me that mom and dad are dead.

 **2 JULY 1989**

"You'll be okay, Laurie, won't you?" Laura's leaving. She's getting fostered without us.

"Yeah…" She says she'll be okay, but she doesn't know what it'll be like. There's loads of stories about kids in foster homes getting beaten. There's loads of stories about people being unhappy in foster homes. There's never any happy ones.

"She can always come back." Barney's lying on his bed, throwing a tennis ball in the air, catching it and repeating.

"I'm right here, you know, bear." Laura's all packed. She's leaving us. But she's moving on. She's going to be a new person. She's going to make something of her life and be a good person.

"Not for much longer."

"Keep in touch, okay?" I say.

"I'll try."

"We'll find you as soon as we turn 18, okay?" I promise. Ten more years.

"Okay."

"I love you Laurie."

"Love you too, Clint. I'll miss you so so so much. And you Barney. I love you both so so much."

"Bye Laura."

"Bye Barney."

"Bye Clint."

"Bye Laurie." And it's goodbye forever.

 **29 MARCH 1992**

"I'm leaving Clint. I don't care if you come with me. I'm running away." Barney says to me one day when I'm eleven. I can't stand it here anymore. It's awful. I hate it. I hate every second of my life, at the orphanage, at school, everywhere.

"I'm coming too."

"You know if we leave…. Laura won't know where we are." We get a letter from Laura every two weeks, and I scramble enough money together to buy a stamp to send one two her every two weeks too. If I just stop replying one day, will she be okay? She doesn't need me anymore, right? She's nine this year.

"I know. She doesn't need us anymore. We're just excess baggage now. She got adopted, and now she's moved on."

"Clint, she loves you so much. She loves us both." It's like Barney's trying to convince me that I don't need to come. But I need to get away from here, and I don't think I can do it alone. "She needs to move on now."

 **10 APRIL 1992**

I'm tired. Tired of walking and walking and walking with nowhere to go. Tired of having no food, only the scraps left in bins. Who the hell thought that this would be a good idea? A ten year old and a thirteen year old running away together with no plan or food, just getting out of there as soon as possible.

"Clint, what about this? A circus?"

"Yeah, okay."

 **12 JUNE 1998**

I see swordsman in his trailer one night. "What are you doin'?" I ask from the doorway. He's crouched over, like he doesn't want anyone to see what he's doing.

"Me? I'm-" I walk in a bit further and cut him off.

"Is that money?"

"You blind kid?" It's always warm inside his trailer, and I think that's because he's always so cold himself. He works everyone as hard as they can, until we're almost dead, but he does do his job well. He's taught me a load of fancy tricks with knives and swords.

"Where'd you get it?"

"…Stole it."

"What?" I can't believe he'd do something like this, sure I was always a little bit scared of him, but that was mainly because he could kill me. I didn't actually think he was capable of doing something… like this.

"You wanna help me on my next job?" I can't believe he even asked me that.

"What? No!"

"You sure kid? It's a onetime offer." And one that I'll never be taking.

"I'm sure."

 **13 JUNE 1998**

Barney comes up to me the next night. Something he rarely ever does anymore. We're not close anymore. He's nineteen now, and I'm seventeen. I've had an act for four years and he's been cleaning cages for six. "Clint, what the hell?"

"What?"

"Why'd you turn 'im down?"

"Who?"

"Swordsman."

"Oh. That." He asked Barney? Barney'll definitely leave. He would have left years ago if it wasn't for me. I think he feels like we failed Laura a lot by leaving. I know I do.

"I'm going Clint. Do whatever you want."

"I'm not going." I can't. I like it here. And maybe in one of the cities we go to, Laura'll be there.

"Okay. If you ever… you know… see Laura again… tell her I say hi." We're both thinking about her, remembering the pain we felt when she was forced to leave.

"You too."

"I'll miss you Clint."

"I'll miss you too Bear."

 **24 OCTOBER 1998**

"So we're out of business?" I ask Carson, still not really believing what he's just told all of us.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Hawkeye. Come and get your last pay check tomorrow."

 **19 JANUARY 1999**

It's been almost three months since the circus went out of business. I ended up joining a gang of some sorts, and I don't know how. They're planning a raid tonight and I'm involved. I've killed two people now, and I feel their blood on my hands every day. I tell myself that I was forced but I know that it was my choice to join these people, and therefore it's my fault these people got hurt. Once this gang found out about my skills with knives and bows, they realised that I could be useful within their ranks and now I'm their hitman. Laura wouldn't be proud.

This guy I'm fighting is good, not as good as me, but good. We're both wearing balaclavas and as he stabs me through my side and I wedge a knife in his stomach. I pull his balaclava off with my other hand.

"BARNEY! NO!"

I've just killed my brother.

 **20 JANUARY 1999**

"Hi honey, can you tell me your name?"

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"You're in hospital sweetie. You were in a pretty bad fight. I'm Melissa. Do you know your name?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me?" I don't reply. I don't have the money to pay for healthcare. I think the nurse understands. "Well your heartrate and blood pressure are normal, so press the call button if you need anything. I nod slowly and she leaves the room. I pull out the IV drips and heart monitors and get changed, moving as fast as I can, and trying really hard to not rip the stitches because I know that I can't comeback. I run as fast as I can out of the hospital. I geet a bus out of the state. Because now there's another state on my list of where I've lost people. I lost my parents in Iowa, my sister in Wisconsin and my brother in Illinois.

 **26 APRIL 1999**

I'm eighteen today. I told Laura I'd be there for her today. But I have no clue where she is. I have no idea and it hurts me so much.

 **26 APRIL 2002**

I am now twenty one and I have killed more than double that number.

I am a mercenary now.

I am Hawkeye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank You for the reviews, follows and favourites :)**

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 **24 JULY 2002**

I've tried looking for Laura, but recently not as much. She might want Clint back, but I'm not sure if I can be him anymore. Maybe I haven't found her because fate doesn't want me to. But fate has dealt me a really shitty hand so far, and maybe it's time for that to change. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's just the way I'm destined to go.

I'm walking down an alley. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do wrong anymore. There's a man following me. I don't know if he's following me or if he's just going the same route I am. I trail around a few block trying to shake him, but he's definitely following me now. I walk down the alley I was originally down and wait for him to realise that I'm waiting for him.

"Hi." He says to me. "My name is Phil Coulson and I'd like to talk to you about the Strategic Homeland Intervention and Enforcement Logistics Division." I aim to punch him but he blocks it. I can tell he's a good fighter and I don't particularly want to cross him. I'm getting better at hand to hand, but I don't think I'm ready to take him. Not yet anyway.

"I'd like to talk to you about doing some good in the world."

"What?"

"We've been watching you for a while now, Mr. Hawkeye, and we can either take you prisoner or employ you." I'll take being employed over being imprisoned any day. I'd be facing several life sentences or the death penalty.

"What do I have to do?"

"You can start by telling me your name, Agent."

"Barton. Clint Barton."

 **9 OCTOBER 2002**

Training at S.H.I.E.L.D is tough. I've been training for a long time but some of these people have to start from the basics. I can keep up, I've even been bumped up a few levels, but it's still hard. I'm on the last level I have to pass before I can become a fully-fledged agent. And I'm well on the way to making it in record time too.

I had to fill in a file about myself and it was just painful, to be honest. I didn't know what to write in the family section so I just left it blank. I know my parents are dead, but I don't know about Barney. If I made it through that night, could he? And Laura… no one can know about her. I just want her to lead a normal life. I don't want her to be attacked because of me.

 **15 NOVEMBER 2002**

I'm an Agent now. Phil's my handler. I really like him. He's a nerd, completely in love with Captain America, but he's great. He just gets me. I like the work I do now, even though there is sometimes death involved, they are always bad people, and I know that they are. Phil understands, and he tells me all they know about how bad a person is before I have to go after him. And I'm good at that. I'm destroying the level system like nobody's business. The only catch is that I don't like working with other people. The psych said it had something to do with abandonment issues. I guess we'll have to see.

 **23 FEBRUARY 2003**

This day was a long time coming.

This morning Phil finally asked me about the family section of my file. I didn't say anything and I guess that gave him a message as he said, "I know that it might be difficult but I'm here if you need me."

I think I should tell him. He's the closest anyone's been since Barney.

Its two now and I'm going to tell him. I knock on his door and it's the most nervous I've ever been in my life. "Clint, hi, you wanna come in." I walk in and take a seat without being offered. "Thought about what I said this morning?"

"Yeah. I want your help."

"With what?"

"I want you to help me find my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"I did."

"When did you last see her?"

"When I was eight years old."

"And you're now twenty two?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Let's start looking." And Phil's cool with it. He grabs his computer and asks me what her name is.

"You can't look for her on there!" I say, worried now. "No one at S.H.I.E.L.D. can know. She has to be kept safe, why do you think I haven't got a techie to look for her yet?" Phil gets up and grabs his laptop bag and a coat and shuffles me out the door. "Where are we going?" I ask, wondering what the hell is going on.

"We're going to get some lunch in an internet cafe"

"Those things still exist?" Phil rolls his eyes, promising that the computer is his personal one and no one at S.H.I.E.L.D. will be able to trace it.

 **22 MARCH 2003**

We've been looking for a month now, and the paper trail goes cold for a Laura Isabel Barton in about 1999, when she was sixteen. She broke her arm and was admitted to hospital in 1992, just months after me and Barney stopped replying. From then on she was bounced around the foster system by the look of it, and somehow she's gotten lost.

 **30 APRIL 2003**

I'm just about ready to give up. Phil isn't. He can see how much this means to me. He's sent me out for a coffee now because apparently S.H.I.E.L.D. coffee is crap and he has paperwork to do. I can't taste the difference personally, but whatever makes the boss happy.

I'm almost at the coffee shop when I notice a lady being mugged. I punch the guy in the face and take the purse back and give it to the girl.

"Thanks." She smiles. She's pretty, and she's got these brown eyes, the same brown that Laura used to have.

"What's your name?" I ask seriously.

"I have a boyfriend." She thinks I'm coming on to her.

"I don't care. Is your name Laura?" She looks really freaked out, but slowly nods. "Laura Isabel Barton?" She nods again and I can't believe it. "Laurie." I breathe and she looks at my eyes. I don't even know if she'll remember that she has a brother, but I know it's her.

"Clint?" She asks and wraps her arms around me.


	3. Chapter 3

**30 APRIL 2003**

"Clint?" She asks and wraps her arms around me. "Is it really you?"

"Yeah Laurie. Clinton Francis Barton." It's the first time in a long time that I've felt happy to have that name. For me, Barton is connected with who I am, an assassin, and Barney, a traitor. But Laura's so sweet and innocent and she makes the Barton name honourable.

"What the hell Clint?!" She slaps me, and I probably deserve it. "You said you'd come when you were eighteen."

I hang my head. I don't want her to know what I was doing when I was eighteen. But I have to be honest with her. What's the point in lying? "I couldn't find you. You aren't anywhere, Laura. Nothing on the internet, and nothing paper that I could find."

"I get that Clint, because I have been trying to find you. But that's not even my first what the hell."

"Then what is?"

"You just stopped sending me letters one day."

"I… We ran away. From the orphanage."

"Why do you have such a good reason for everything?!"

"What?"

"I would have run away from there at the first chance I got too. What happened to you there?"

"I'll tell you later. In private. What about you?"

"I got bounced around the foster system a lot and then at eighteen the people I was with just kicked me out and now I'm living here, with a job, a life."

"And did you say something about a boyfriend?"

"No. Most definitely not." She smirks, and that hasn't changed a bit. She's definitely my sister.

"Name, Laura." I demand

"Cole."

"Okay." She looks so surprised. I don't want to push her away just yet.

"So where's Barney?" Oh help what the hell do I tell her? I doubt Hallmark makes a card for this.

I don't know that he's dead for sure, right? "We separated when I was seventeen. I… I've only seen him once since, and we didn't talk."

"Okay. What's your number?" I give it to her and she gives me hers, explaining that she has to go back to work and she's just on her lunch break. Phil calls me as we're saying goodbye and I tell him I'll be back in five.

I make it back to the office with to coffees faster than I have ever gotten coffee before. I walk in to the office and Phil looks at me surprised. "Are you okay, Clint?" He asks. "You're smiling. No, you're grinning. Have you had yours already?" He picks up both coffees, testing the weight. "What's up? Why are you so happy?"

I can't wait any longer. "I made a breakthrough on our mission." I say and Phil's eyes literally widen. He knows I'm not talking about some stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. mission.

"You mean…?" He trails and I nod excitedly. "You found her?" I nod again. Phil grins too. My phone goes off and I look at the text I've been sent. It's Laura. She says she gets off work at six and if I want we can go out (or stay in) and get to know each other again. I reply saying that I'll meet her whenever.

"Can I tell her about S.H.I.E.L.D?" I ask Phil.

He thinks for a couple of moments before nodding slowly. "But she cannot tell anyone." I smile. Phil knows how much this means to me. He knows that I need to do this. And that I'd probably tell her anyway.

 **30 APRIL 2003 [Evening]**

"Hey Laura." I smile as she walks out from some corporate building.

"This feels weird."

"What does? Me?"

"Someone picking me up from work. Only Cole's ever done that and normally he finishes after me."

"How serious are you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you live together?"

"Yeah."

"So pretty serious?"

"Yeah." We reach a block and she gets out a key and opens a door. We walk up four flights of stairs and in to her apartment. It's small, but not too small and comfortable for two people. And it's obvious that this Cole bloke lives there. But I'm happy that she's happy.

"So what happened? To you I mean."

"I'm not a good person, Laura, not anymore. I'm a bad person."

"Tell me what happened Clint."

"When we ran away, we joined a circus…" I begin and watch as she begins to become wrapped in my tale, as she begins to relive what I've been through.

She's the second person I've relived my life with, and to be honest, I think Phil's life was worse than mine, although he hasn't really told me about it. I tell Laura all about what Barney did and then it comes to when I was part of that street gang.

"We were planning a hit and we made it. I was in a fight with one of his guards and as we stabbed each other I pulled off his balaclava. It was Barney, Laurie. I don't know what happened. I woke up in a hospital and ran for my life." She's been crying ever since I told her about Barney leaving the circus but her eyes are still only watering quiet tears.

I tell her about being a mercenary and eventually get to when Phil picked me up in that alley. I tell her about how Phil was helping me find her, how Phil is my best friend. "I want to meet him." She says when I pause.

"Of course." I reply. I'm almost crying now. I pause for a few moments. "I get if you don't want to know me anymore. I understand if-"

"I want you in my life Clint. You're my brother and I love you so so much."

It's an awkward moment for her boyfriend to walk in on.

"Who the hell are you?!" He says angrily.

"Hey Cole. This is my brother, Clint." The man breathes a little and looks a little relieved.

"Hi Clint." He nods. "I didn't know you had a brother, Laura?"

"I didn't think he was alive, to be honest."

"What?"

"The last time I saw her was when she was six years old. We only just got in contact again."

"Wow okay."

"I have go now. Look forward to getting to know you both better. See you soon."

"You don't have to go." The man says, and I'm surprised. I thought he'd want to get his girlfriend's brother out of the house as soon as possible.

"I have to get back to work." I lie and stand up with a smile. "See ya."

"See you Clint." Laura says as she walks me to the door. "You're not a bad person. I'll see you soon, okay? And I want to see Phil too." I nod and leave, hardly able to wait to tell Phil about what an amazing person she is.


	4. Chapter 4

**Seriously, thank you so much for all the favourites, follows and reviews, they're all really inspiring and I'm really grateful.**

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 **24 MAY 2003**

"So what does working for S.H.I.E.L.D. mean you do exactly?" It's been almost a moth since I stopped a mugger for stealing my sister's purse, and it's been great. I crash at her place a lot, but not too often, because, believe it or not, S.H.I.E.L.D. actually needs me. Her boyfriend's alright, I guess, and he trembles every time he sees me, mainly because I haven't pulled him aside and given him the big brother talk yet. I like to keep people in suspense.

Getting Phil to meet Laura might have been one of the worst things I've ever done. They get on so well and gang up on me. Its hell, but it's also the best feeling in the world because it's my best friend and my sister getting along.

"I do whatever Phil tells me to do." I say carefully. I don't particularly like to talk about it, but dong it does sometimes feel good. It's like I'm redeeming myself for my past sins.

"And that is..?" She asks.

"A bit of paperwork here and there but usually missions." She raises her eyebrow, asking me perfectly what I do on mission so I sigh in defeat. "Usually its taking down targets, drug-lords, mass murderers, people who dabble in a bit of human trafficking, bad guys, Laura."

"And taking down means..?"

"Whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. wants. Either bring them in for questioning or kill them. I've taken lives from a lot of people." For some reason she doesn't even look shocked. I think she'd guessed.

"I guess you're well-travelled then." That's all she took from _"I've killed a lot of people"_? "I mean there's not only bad people in America, right?"

"I haven't even been with S.H.I.E.L.D. for a year. But yeah, I've seen a few countries."

"So how often do you have missions? How long do they last?"

"Depends. Usually I have about a week or two between them, but they can last anywhere from three days to years."

"Years?!"

"If it's deep undercover, then yeah. But undercovers not really my thing. And I don't like working with other people, so they don't really like putting me in it. But I'm going on one day after tomorrow. Should last about a week if everything goes well."

"How often does everything go well?"

"About once every blue moon."

"I guessed as much." We sit in silence for a few minutes before she asks, "Have you ever been shot?"

"Nope," I reply, popping the p. "I've never been shot and I've never missed a shot.

"Show off" She mutters.

 **27 MAY 2003**

God, being shot really hurts.

I'm in S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital. I can tell by the massive eagle on the wall.

Phil's there.

"Idiot." He tells me.

I don't have the energy to reply.

 **28 MAY 2003**

When I next come to, I'm a lot more with it.

"Hey," I rasp at Phil.

"You're still an idiot." Phil replies. "What happened?"

"They were waiting for me, some of them had guns, I called for backup and took out as many as I could, got shot. Have you told…?"

"I thought you could break that titbit of news to her. Plus she'd want to see you, and I don't think you'd like that."

"No I wouldn't."

 **2 JUNE 2003**

"Hi Munchkin."

"Hey Clint. Why do you have a sling?"

"I got shot."

"Really, Mr. I've never been shot?"

"Yes."

She cackles at me.

 **5 FEBRUARY 2004**

I've been boosted up the S.H.I.E.L.D. ranks a lot over the last year. I'm now level five, and that's after a year and a half. Broke another record.

I've also been tasked with a mission.

It's going to be bloody difficult, given that we don't even have a picture of the target.

I've been tasked to kill the Black Widow.

One of the most deadly assassins in the world.

She's a master assassin who's left a bloody trail all over the world, mainly concentrated in Europe, but some other continents too. Her work was last seen this morning, so I'm moving fast to try and get her, as S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks they know who she's most likely to go after next. It looks like I'm off to Serbia.

Haven't been there before.

 **11 MARCH 2004**

Can she hurry up and just take this guy out?

I've been following him for weeks now and I can feel her presence, just never see her.

I want to take this guy out because his voice is so annoying and I am hearing it all the time.

He's going to a party tomorrow night. I'm going to the vents of the venue. I hope she's there.

 **12 MARCH 2004**

I know she's going to kill him today. I can feel it in my bones.

I'm thinking like the Black Widow today. She'll want to get her target alone, so she'll seduce him, maybe take him upstairs? She'll want it to be a private killing, so I just simply have to not take my eyes off her target.

He leaves with a blonde woman, who I can tell is not naturally blonde. That's a wig she's wearing.

I follow them quietly and wait for her to kill him before I shoot.

I forget the breeze.

It's the only time I've ever missed.

I aim my bow again, surprised she hasn't attacked me yet.

Our eyes lock and I see myself. Scared, frightened and doing what I need to do to survive. She wants to die. I lower my bow. "I'd like to talk to you about doing some good in the world." I say in Russian.


	5. Chapter 5

**12 MARCH 2004**

Our eyes lock and I see myself. Scared, frightened and doing what I need to do to survive. She wants to die. I lower my bow. "I'd like to talk to you about doing some good in the world." I say in Russian.

 **14 MARCH 2004**

"BARTON! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

"This is Natasha. I'm going to train her to become an agent."

"Are you aware that she is the _Black Widow?!_ " Coulson asks.

"No, really?" I reply with a hint of sarcasm.

"I can't believe you."

Eventually, Coulson let's Natasha speak. She tells him that she just wants to help, do some good maybe, and I bring up what he said to me when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.

She gives him information and then he agrees to see what she has to offer.

 **8 AUGUST 2004**

She's beaten my record. Damnit.

To punish me, Fury pairs us up for a few missions. He knows how much I hate working with people. But Natasha's different. She's good. I don't need to worry about her getting killed, because she's too good for that.

 **19 SEPTEMBER 2004**

Well that was the best mission I've ever been sent on.

 **12 JANUARY 2005**

I've finally decided that it's time to introduce Natasha to my sister. I trust her with my life, so it's time to trust her with my sister's. Natasha and I are the best agents the Agency has to offer, and when we work together it (usually) feels like nothing will ever go wrong. Then I sometimes run out of arrows. Or get shot.

Natasha and me… we never really meant for any of this to happen. We were kissing on a mission, and we both liked it so we kinda continued kissing. I really do like her, and once you've broken through that cold, hard Black Widow shell, she's actually a really lovely person.

"Where are we going Clint? It's my day off, I don't want to do something pointless."

"We're going to see someone."

I knock on Laura's door, knowing that she'll be at home because I memorised her work schedule. She doesn't have to go in that much, because she mainly works from home. I hope she's not shopping. That would really kill the mood. Her boyfriend's out of town for a week as well so that's great.

"Hey Laura." I say as she opens the door. Thank God she's not out.

"Clint. Who's this?"

"Laura, this is Natasha, Nat, this is my sister Laura." The shock on Nat's face is hilarious. I want to record it and prove to everyone that it is not impossible to shock the Black Widow.

"Tasha, I can call you Tasha right? She's your girlfriend, isn't she?" Laura has such an eye, but I know that Natasha doesn't want people to know. So I deny it.

"No, we just work together."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Yep." I think Laura can tell when I'm lying. I do lie to her literally all the time, usually about how much pain I'm in when I'm injured, and I think she can tell by now.

"Well I don't."

"I didn't know you had a sister?" Nat looks at me, slightly worried. We are partners, and we are supposed to know all about each other.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't know about her." I'm also implying that this is a big thing for me, and if she tells anyone, she dies.

"I can talk for myself you know."

"So why have you introduced me to her?"

"She's important to me."

"Does Phil know?"

"Phil is like my best friend, he gives me embarrassing stories about Clint now, and I give him ones about Clint in the past."

"Are you just as crazy as him?"

"You wound me!"

"No one is as crazy as Clint."

"I can agree with that."

"Every single time."

"What is he on about?"

"Every time he introduces me to someone, which is actually just you and Phil, we side against him."

"I like her."

"God, what have I done?"

 **24 MARCH 2005**

This day has been coming ever since Laura was born.

She's been with this Cole guy for almost five years, and I knew I'd have to answer this question eventually, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. I haven't even known her, known her properly, for two years yet.

"Umm Clint?" Cole asks one day when I'm at their apartment. Laura's not at home, but I guess me and him are sort of friends now so I'm okay just to come over to their apartment whenever.

"Yeah?" I reply, wondering why he looks so nervous, and why his foot is tapping.

"Can I… Can-"

"Spit it out."

"Can I ask you if I can ask Laura to marry me?" That was a very confusing sentence.

"You can ask." I need to think about an answer. I'm not ready to let her go. But she needs to be let go. She's a grown up now, but I still see her as that sweet six year old that was taken from me.

"Can ask Laura to marry me?" He asks and looks in to my eyes. His eyes are grey, not blue grey like a lot of people's are, but completely grey. It always used to unnerve me a little, but I'm fine with it now. It just makes him unique.

"Why?"

"Because I don't just love her. I don't want to marry her because I love her, even though I do, more than my heart can take. I want to marry Laura because I think I can make her happy, and that's all I want."

"I don't know." I say truthfully. "I mean she loves you and you love her. You've been together, what? Five years?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. You have my permission." I give in. I know this guy loves her and she loves him. "But if you hurt her, if you do anything, if you make her cry even one tear, I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you and I will kill you. Look after her."

"I'll do my best."

"And that's all I can ask."

 **27 MARCH 2005**

"So you said yes?"

"Yeah."

"Damnit."


	6. Chapter 6

**27 SEPTEMBER 2005**

"What's up Clint?"

"Nothing."

"There is something wrong."

"You're not safe, Laurie."

"What d'ya mean?"

"I have enemies Laura. A lot of enemies. And if any of them, a single one of them, knew about you, I could lose you forever."

"That's not going to happen."

"I could move you to a safe house, somewhere remote, somewhere no one could find you-" Like a farmhouse in the middle of the countryside. No one would find her there. Sure it's been two years and no one's come for her, but as I kill more people, it gets more and more dangerous for her to be out in the open, out here in New York.

"No, Clinton I am not moving because you get twitchy."

"If-"

"It won't."

 **19 MAY 2006**

"I can't actually believe that I'm letting you do this."

"To be honest, neither can I."

They're getting married. I'm walking Laura down the aisle. We're both missing Barney and our parents, because dad should be here to walk Laurie down the aisle, not me. It's a small ceremony, not many people. That's kinda my fault. Natasha's here somewhere. Phil couldn't make it. I hope she's found a friend.

I walk Laura down to see her almost husband and go and stand in the front row, where Natasha is directly behind me. The flower girls are sitting next to me, Cole's nieces. They are pretty cute, Imogen and Isabella, four year old twins.

"We are gathered here today to witness…"

Cole's middle name is Zachariah. Who knew? His parents must hate him. Cole Zachariah Sandar. Eww my sister's got a different last name now. Laura Isabel Sandar. Ewww, what the hell have I done?!

I've actually never been to a wedding before. I've seen them on TV, sure, but I've actually never been to one.

The after party's great. Seriously. There's loads of food, champagne, I even convince Nat to dance with me, have a couple of dances with Laura, everything's great. Especially the food.

I mainly stick with Nat or the kids. I like playing with kids. They're innocent, sweet, unbroken. They're completely the opposite of who I spend most of my life with. I know that it'd be way too dangerous for me to ever have kids. It'd be like giving people something to take away from me. It's bad enough that I have Laura.

 **19 MAY 2006 [S.H.I.E.L.D. HEADQUARTERS]**

"Agent Coulson, where are Agents Barton and Romanoff?"

"They're having a bit of time off."

"Well they need to be back. You three are out to Budapest in an hour."

"I don't think that's going to be possible."

"Why not?" Phil doesn't answer. "Tell me where my goddamn agents are or I'll track 'em down myself."

"I think Agent Baron might kill me if I told you."

"I'll track 'em down myself then. Any clues?"

 **19 MAY 2006**

"You're good with kids, Clint." Natasha says to me as she comes over.

"Thanks. It's a shame…" I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. She's told me all about the 'Graduation ceremony' the Red Room put her through.

"What?"

"With this life… I can never have them."

"Is that Fury?" Natasha's looking at the entrance to this hotel, and I'm sure she's not wrong, without even looking. Natasha's never wrong.

One thing I did not expect to see at my sister's wedding is my bosses boss standing with his arms folded, looking very pointedly at me with his one good eye.

"Why do you think he's here?"

"Mission?" Natasha says slowly. We walk over to the man in the trench coat silently, both of us sighing.

"Why are you here, Agents?"

"It's my sister's wedding."

"I didn't know you had a sister, Agent Barton." That means that Coulson hasn't told him. Coulson

"That's because I didn't want S.H.I.E.L.D. to know about her. And I'd like to keep it that way." Fury nods, and I'm grateful. Thank god he understands. "Why are you here sir?"

"I'm here with a mission."

"When do we leave?" Natasha asks.

"By my count, you have twenty seven minutes and nine seconds." Fury replies, and now I know why he's seeking us out.

"Where?" I demand.

"Budapest." I haven't been there before. I think Natasha has, once, but not for very long. I'm expanding my world travels, although this time, I wish I wasn't.

"We'll be at the hangar in twenty five." I sigh in defeat. It really was too much to think that I might actually have a night for my sister's wedding. Fury nods and leaves, sweeping his trench coat behind him.

I look around for Laura. She's talking to someone. I walk up to them and realise that their conversation is nowhere near finished. "Laurie," I say quickly, when they pause.

"Clint, you okay?" She asks. She's glowing from the day, she's so happy.

"Work just called, they need me." Her face falls and I feel like a total ass.

"Oh… okay… is it for a m-" I cut her off before she can say mission.

"A business trip yeah, urgently. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Tasha going with you?"

"Yeah."

"She'll keep you in line. Stay safe. I love you." She smiles, but I can see she's worried.

"You know I will. I love you too. Have fun on your honeymoon, okay? Bye, Laura."

"I will. See ya, Clinton." I roll my eyes, as I do every time she calls me Clinton.

Me and Natasha leave the party, quickly change and pack at S.H.I.E.L.D. and make it to the hangar with two minutes and nine seconds to spare. I hope Budapest isn't too eventful.


	7. Chapter 7

**Because I'm failing at PMing reviewers I'm going to answer reviews here:  
** The Gothic Geek: Thank you so much! And definitely  
patty cake rocks: Thank you (And also thank you for reviewing every chapter so far!)  
ClintandNatasha: It's here! An you'll have to read to find out.  
candycrum: It never really occurred to me to write the honeymoon. I think I just wanted Laura and Cole to have a little bit of happiness before I screw up there lives completely.

 **The dates are really confusing in this chapter, I'm sorry about that, but please read the dates. Thanks :)**

 **27 JULY 2006**

I never want to speak about Budapest again. I never want to be there again, I never even want to think about it again.

 **22 JULY 2006**

"Barton. Where's Romanoff?" Phil made it back to New York just a week after we got to Budapest. Me and Natasha though, we've had to stay two months. I think that we were supposed to stay a few more months, but I had to order a medical evac.

"We're in Austria." I reply evenly, not showing any emotion.

"At the base?"

"Yeah."

"Natasha there?"

"She's in surgery."

"What?!"

"She's got a broken leg, a few bullets, concussion, she lost so much blood, so much, her wrist I think was broken, it really didn't look right. I don't know what else. I… I'm not sure she's going to make it."

"Clint, it's Natasha, she'll be okay. What about you?"

"Just a couple of flesh wounds. Really." I tell him, wondering if he'll believe me. Normally I'm the one who gets hurt and I'm honestly surprised that I've got almost nothing compared with her.

"I'll fly out as soon as I can."

"Okay."

 **20 JULY 2006**

"NATASHA!" I scream as her leg snaps.

 **24 JULY 2006**

She's finally woken up. "Clint? What happened?"

"I don't think you want to know, Nat. But I thought you were going to die."

 **17 JULY 2006**

"So when do you want to make a move?" I ask Natasha while we're holed up in a small flat just outside of the centre of Budapest. Natasha made pasta and we're eating it now while we're deciding what to do.

"I don't think we have enough intel." Natasha says to me and I have to agree but I have no idea how we're going to proceed if we wait.

"But where are we going to get anymore from?" I ask her. To be honest I'm a little bit worried about Laura. That's why I'm pushing to get back. But I'm sure Phil must have told her I'm fine. He knows how much I worry about her, as well as how much she worries about me. He's passed along a couple of messages. She got back from her honeymoon safely, and there weren't any shots fired while she was there. I guess marrying Cole has helped her a little, she's changed her name, and she never looked much like me or Barney, she always had brown eyes, darker hair, like mom. I know eventually someone will find out that she's Hawkeye's sister and go after her, but for now I guess we're okay.

"Do we know where they are?" Natasha asks, even though she knows the answer.

"Yes. But we don't have a plan."

"Then let's make one." How very practical Miss Romanoff.

 **23 JULY 2006**

I could just watch her breathe forever. As long as she's still alive. Breathing. Living. I could listen to her breathe all day. I could listen to her keep breathing and breathing, because it means she's still alive, and it means she's still mine.

 **19 JULY 2006**

"Nat, why are you back, I thought you were scouting for-" I ask as Natasha comes running through the door.

"They're following me, we need to go now!" I grab a few weapons and the SAT phone we contact S.H.I.E.L.D. and run for my life. Run for mine and Natasha's life.

 **25 JULY 2006**

"Clint?" Natasha's voice wakes me up from a little daydream.

"Hey Nat. You feeling okay?" I ask

"Just a little bit of a headache."

"That'd be the concussion." Nat smiles, and then winces like it really hurts.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just a couple of flesh wounds."

"Where are we?"

"Austria."

"Phil?" Phil crosses the room in to Natasha's vision.

"Hi Natasha. You good?"

"Yeah."

"They didn't want to move you until you were awake. You two ready to go back to America?" The two days wait it takes for us to get a jet that fits Natasha's needs is nothing, because she's awake, and she's okay.

 **20 JULY 2006**

I try the S.H.I.E.L.D. phone again. It got a bit bumped during the fight, and I think it might be broken but I have to keep trying.

"Clint?" Natasha asks.

"Nat?"

"Will you kiss me?"

"Come again?"

"I think we both know that if you don't get them on the phone in the next couple of hours I'm going to die, and I think... I know, I want to kiss you before that happens."

"Not on my watch." I reply, but I kiss her anyway, and it's everything I've imagined it to be, passionate and rough, but somehow gentle and loving.

I definitely can't let her die now.

 **21 JULY 2006**

I've been dragging Natasha along with a broken leg for almost a day now. No one is answering our call for a medical evac. We were just attacked, again, and now she's been shot too, one of the bullets is still in her and the wound's spurting blood. The other one was a through and through, which is also gushing blood. I just have a small flesh wound.

"This is STRIKE TEAM: DELTA to base, agent is down, I repeat: Agent Romanoff is down. Does anybody copy?"

Natasha breathes heavily, her mouth trying to form words. I have my hands are pressed in to her shoulder, trying to keep the blood in. The blood is seeping out, and I can't do anything to stop it. "C-Clint…" She whispers.

"I need a medical evac now!" I scream into the SAT phone.

"It's dead, Clint."

Then I do something I should have done a long time ago. I break in to someone's house and call Coulson's mobile. It only rings once before Coulson picks up. He must recognise the Hungarian area code. "This is STRIKE TEAM: DELTA. Agent Romanoff is injured. We need a medical evacuation now."

"A quinjet is on the way to your location." Coulson replies.

"Hurry." I beg, before I end the call.

 **27 JULY 2006**

All I can remember from Budapest is thinking that Natasha was dead, my hand held to her throat, feeling a pulse, to make sure that she was still alive.

And the kiss.

I guess this really shook me because in our years of partnership, she's never been hurt. Not once. Never. And this broke her.

 **28 JULY 2006**

I knock on Laura's door a day later. Natasha told me to leave and I'm kinda glad to be honest. I can't bear to look at her like that any longer. It's like she's not Natasha anymore, because Natasha would never be that broken. We flew back from Austria because there were supposedly better medical facilities in America but the don't seem to be doing jackshit.

"Clint!" Laura says to me as she opens her door, giving me a massive hug.

"Hey Laurie." I reply quietly. It was a hard mission and now she knows I'm a bit beaten up by it.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Tasha?"

"She took a few hits."

"What happened to her?"

"Broken leg, broken wrist, couple of bullets, concussion. She lost a lot of blood."

"But she's okay?" Laura looks really worried.

"She'll live. How was the rest of the night? Your honeymoon?"

"It was perfect, Clint. It really was." She tells me all about it and I have to say I wish I'd been there instead of Budapest.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about the delay. This chapter refused to be written.**

* * *

 **8 AUGUST 2006**

I've been given a mission brief from the director himself, because Coulson get sick or something and Natasha's still recovering from the mission from hell. I'm about to leave, but Fury stops me. "Barton, if you ever wanted… if you're sister ever wanted a lot more protection… if you wanted a safe house for her… I'd be happy to help."

I pause, turning back to look at his eye for less than a second. "Thank you, Sir. I'll ask her to think about it." _Again._ And then I walk out the door and head off to Canada.

 **29 AUGUST 2006**

Coulson wants me to wait until Natasha's better for us to go on our next mission. It's something to do with me taking too many risks. But hey, I'm still alive aren't I? And anyway, I'm looking forward to spending time with Laura, annoying the hell out of Tasha while she's still as bored as hell.

Today though, I am spending the day with my little sister. And when she stops walking in the middle of a hallway, after coming down to let me in, I'm kinda worried. "You okay?" I ask, turning back to look at her.

"Yeah, I'm great. Just feeling a little-" Laura turns away from me and runs to her kitchen, faster than she ever has in her life, to get to the kitchen sink.

"Laura!" I follow, getting to her as she throws up.

"It'll pass, it'll pass."

"What is it?"

"Morning sickness." She says, but my brain doesn't connect. It's my little sister, she can't be… "I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?!"

 **11 FEBRUARY 2007**

"Good mission?" Coulson asks as we get back at almost midnight, East Coast time. However, I still feel like I'm in Italy so it's only 5 am or something. And I'm used to not much sleep anyway.

"Alright. Clint was moaning a lot. But neither of us were injured." Natasha answers. "I'll get Clint to write up a mission report in the morning."

"I'm afraid you might be doing that Natasha. Clint?" Coulson turns his attention to me. I have no plans for the rest of the week, in fact we weren't even supposed to be back for the rest of the week, we just happened to finish early.

"Yeah?"

"Your brother in law called. Said something about your sister is in labour?"

"When?!"

"Earlier, a lot earlier. But he hasn't called again so… I don't know. They're at Lennox Hill, I think. Go. I can debrief you later." I barely give a nod and goodbye to Nat and Phil before rushing to my locker to get my car keys and rush off to see them.

 **12 FEBRUARY 2007**

They say New York is the City is never sleeps, and I'm with them there- or more specifically, the traffic never sleeps. It takes me until the next day to get there, although that isn't saying that much, because it was almost the next day when I left.

Once I get there, it's a hell of a trek to find Laura, not only because I ask for Laura Barton. Well, mainly it is because of that. But after half an hour of schlepping through nurses, receptionists and doctors I finally found Laura Isabel Sandar.

"Clint? When did you get back?" Cole asks me. Laura's awake, and she seems okay. She's definitely not pregnant anymore.

"About an hour ago. Traffic was bad."

"This is Cooper." Cole shows me the small baby in his arms and seems to offer him to me to hold. But he doesn't really want me to right? I'm a killing machine, I can't cope with kids. I'm pretty sure

"Hey Coop." I say to the small thing in Cole's arms. "God he's small."

"That's about the size of it." Laura says with a laugh.

She's not usually one to make jokes like that- to be honest it's usually me. "They gave her drugs, didn't they?" I ask Cole.

"Yep." He nods. They're all okay. I can stop panicking. For a while at least.

 **1 JANUARY 2009**

Cole and Laura invited me and Natasha over for New Year's. They've done it for the two years. The year before, Laura was pregnant so we didn't come, and all the years before that we were on missions. I would have them over with Natasha, but Natasha's paranoid and I don't blame her, not with her past. If anyone comes in, they could plant a bomb, leave a knife in the couch, anything. So we go to theirs, even though they've now got Coop to worry about.

We're quieter this year, because of Cooper, but when the clock strikes twelve, I still scream at Tasha, "Happy New Year!"

"You too!" She smiles at me and we kiss, as do Laura and Cole.

"You sure you don't want a drink?" Natasha asks Laura. She's only been drinking water all evening and only now do I realise exactly what this means.

"Yes, thanks Tasha."

"Oh God you're pregnant again, aren't you?"

"Possibly." This time though, I don't want to kill her, or Cole. I'm happy for them.

 **23 SEPTEMBER 2009**

This time Tasha and I were on a mission for the entire time Laura was in hospital, so we visit them at home just under a month after their daughter was born. Laura answers the door and leads us in. "Clint, Tash, this is Lila. Lila this is Uncle Clint." Laura shoves the baby in Natasha's arms and Natasha looks slightly alarmed and almost tries to give it back to Laura, but her back's already turned.

"I've never held a baby before." Natasha turns to me, her eyes wider than I've ever seen. She's more scared than she's ever been under gunfire. Then, she tries to pass Lila off to me.

"Uncwle Clint." Cooper runs up to me and I pick him up.

"Hey Coop. Sorry Tash, my hands are tied."

Natasha sighs and tries to keep the little girl from crying.


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes, I changed my name. It's been a long time coming. And also merry Christmas :)**

* * *

 **23 APRIL 2011**

I am babysitting a hammer. I am babysitting a _hammer._ A _HAMMER!_

God.

Coulson, I'm going to kill you.

If I don't die from the boredom of babysitting a hammer.

 **24 APRIL 2011**

No! The hammer just… flew away? I'm going to get sacked for this. I think it might have been important, Coulson explained it all to me. I might have not listened. But no one could lift it.

Thor. That's new. Okay. Sure. Just a random GOD here. Thor's a real thing here? Casual. I mean, Thor who can control lightning? God of thunder? He certainly looks like him. Now there's a lightning storm. So it must actually be Thor.

Seriously, where does S.H.I.E.L.D. find these freaks?

 **4 DECEMBER 2011**

Captain America is alive. Phil's pissing himself.

 **11 MAY 2012**

I'm now babysitting a blue cube.

At least it's not a hammer.

At least this cube is kinda dangerous, emitting gamma rays and stuff.

And their evacuating now so I guess they must think it's dangerous.

Oh God is that Loki? Another one? Another GOD? The God of mischief? And-

"You have heart." He's going to destroy the world, and do you know what's worse? I want to help.

 **14 MAY 2012**

God. Ouch. I have a concussion. But Loki's not in my head anymore. He's evil. I don't want to help him. I need to stop him. Thank all the gods but him. And maybe him too.

Natasha's here. She can help me get back in to my own brain again.

"Laura called." She says as I attempt to stand up.

"What did you say?" I can't really imagine breaking the news to my best friend's sister that she's being mind controlled. Not least because she doesn't have a sister.

"I… was busy. I might not have answered. She called back a couple of times." I raise my eyebrows. "Seven."

"I'll call her." I walk in to the bathroom. She picks up after one ring. "Laura?"

"Clinton. Where the fuck have you been?" Laura demands and I can tell how worried she's been. I don't blame Natasha for not picking up.

"Do you not have kids?" I ask, wondering exactly what words she's teaching them.

"They're out with Cole while I tear my fucking hair out over you."

"I'm fine Laura. I'm completely fine. I was just off grid for a few days. I'm fine now." Off the grid? A bit like out of my mind.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. But shit is going to get real real soon. Laura you have to get your kids inside and stay there until I call you okay? Something big is happening. Stay inside Laura. Stay safe." Loki's play is being made today and I can't have anyone being caught up in it.

"Clint-"

"Bye." I cut her off as I hear Cap.

 **14 MAY 2012**

We won. I went through a window and completely messed my back up, but we won. We won. And now we're in a shawarma restaurant that wasn't totally destroyed by the battle. I can feel my phone in one of my pockets buzzing away, and I need to pick it up. I need to know if Laura's okay. But I can't get away from these guys. Next time it rings, I pick up. "Clinton." She says. "Clinton Francis Barton. What. The. Hell. Was .That?" As Bruce faceplates into his food, asleep.

"Are you okay? Is everyone okay?" I ask, because she told me her husband and kids were out. They could have had a building collapse on top of them. Lila's only two and a bit. Coop's only five. And Cole, as much as I hate him for marrying my sister, he makes her happy.

"Yes. They got back in time. The destruction didn't reach our block. We turned on the TV and my _brother's_ face is there. And he's fighting aliens with a _bow and arrows_. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Is anyone hurt?" I really hope that everyone else is not reading anything in to this conversation. No one can know about Laura, not even the Avengers.

"No. I told you already. We're all fine. Is Tasha okay?"

"Yeah. I'll see you soon, okay? I'm with some people currently."

"The Avengers? Is Tasha there?" She asks and I know she wants to ask Natasha is I'm okay or if I'm just lying. Which I am, of course, because my back really hurts.

"Yeah she is. But I've got to go."

"I'll see you Clinton. And don't think you're off the hook for cutting off on me earlier!"

"Bye." I cut off Laura.

"Who was that?" Tony asks and I pretend that I haven't heard him.

 **16 MAY 2012**

"Uncle Clint! We saw you on TV!" Cooper runs at me as soon as I open the door. Lila follows behind him, falling over her feet.

"Did you Coop?" I ask, picking the small boy up.

"And you Auntie Tasha!" Tasha follows me in to the apartment.

"Really?" Nat asks as she pick up Lila.

"You're Hawkeye and Auntie Tasha's the Black Widow." Cooper says. This was something he was never supposed to find out. At least not until he was a lot, lot older. Even Laura barely knows our codenames. "You know Captain America." His eyes are filled with wonder, just like Phil's when he found out that Steve was alive.

"Yeah, we do Coop."

"Can I meet him?" No. Never. Work and family are separate. They will never meet.

"Well..." Natasha begins, but I stop her before she can say yes or someday.

"No."

"Auntie Tasha was going to say yes, weren't you?" Laura says, and I know that she's only saying it because she wants to meet Thor to tell him how much I complained about babysitting his hammer.

"I just don't see why Uncle Clint is so-" Tasha begins.

"No, Tasha." I tell her.

"I don't see either Clint." Laura says as well. I don't know why no one understands.

"No."


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay. And sorry for everything. Hehehe.**

 **Happy New Year everyone!**

* * *

 **22 SEPTEMBER 2012**

"Clint… Help…"

"LAURA! LAURA!"

 **21 SEPTEMBER 2012**

Natasha and I have a rare week off. It's not off, exactly, but we are in the country, and we are in New York. We're not on missions. We're just in the office, doing paperwork _(wonderful)_ and training. Lots of training. Natasha seems to think that I should train more so I won't get hurt as much. Not that I actually do get hurt very much. But 11:30 in the evening is as good as time to train as any.

"Barton. My office. Now." Coulson says in to our comms. It's the middle of the night, why the hell does he need me? He sounds quite impatient, so I let Natasha beat me and hurry upstairs.

"Do you know who this person is?" Phil shows me a screenshot of Barney's face, not a mugshot, but it looks like he's sent a broadcast out or something. He's got a few more scars, his face is thinner and paler, but it's definitely Barney. My brother, who I killed. Why's he alive? How's he alive?

"Yeah… Why?" I ask.

"He's… sent you a message. Who is he?"

"What does the message say?"

"I-"

"I need to know. I need to know, Phil."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Charles Bernard Barton. He used to be my brother. Play the tape." Coulson looks at me, almost scared but presses play anyway.

"Clint… Clinton Francis Barton. I know you're going to hear this… I know someone will show you. And I want them to. I want them to show you this… because I need you to know that it's me… it's me that's going to destroy you, the same way you destroyed me. Because you did, Clinton. So I'm going to take everything away from you, like you took everything away from me. Everyone you care about. I know who you are, I know where you are and I've been shadowing you for months. I know who you talk to. And I'm ready to spill my blood. So be ready."

"So, he's going to kill you?"

"No." I reply breathing heavily. "He's after Laura."

I grab my bow as my phone rings. I answer. "Clint… Help…"

"LAURA!" I scream. "LAURA!"

"Uncle Clint?" Cooper asks. "There's a bad man in our house and mommy made us hide in the closet but daddy isn't here yet and mommy can't get him on the phone."

"Okay Coop. I'm coming okay? Is mommy with you? And Lila?"

"They're both here."

"Okay, you have to be really quiet okay Cooper? You have to be really really quiet."

"Okay."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hope Natasha doesn't mind that I've borrowed her motorbike. I break several traffic laws and go through a few red lights but I get there. I kick down the door and quietly walk from room to room. I get to the kitchen and Barney's there, a knife in his hand, standing over a body, which is covered in blood. I don't know who it is, but it's too big to be either of the kids.

"Clinton. I would say that it's nice to see you, but it isn't." He says as I try to breathe more evenly.

"Bernard. Put the knife down and take me instead. You don't have to kill her. You don't have to kill anyone." He's changed. He's become darker, even more than the last time I saw him.

"You found Laura, huh? Did you tell her I said hi?" I really wish I hadn't.

"Yes."

"Did you tell her that you almost killed me?"

"I told her that I killed you and that you almost killed me."

"I thought you were dead too, you know." I didn't know that. I didn't know that he thought I was dead too. He must have found out that I was alive from the Battle of New York footage. I shouldn't have fought against those aliens. I shouldn't have put Laura in danger like that.

"And now you're going to kill me." He throws the knife, aimed for my heart. I block it with my bow, watching as he raises another knife.

And then I do the single worst thing that I have ever done. And I've done a lot of bad things.

I release the bow string.

And I kill my brother.

He falls and slams to the floor. I run over and put my fingers to his neck. He's gone. I turn to the other body. It's not Laura. It's Cole. I put my fingers to his neck next. He's still there, just. His eyes open for just a second and he rasps in a breath and says "Tell Lau…ra… I love her. Coop… Lil too. Keep… safe." And then he closes his eyes and I can't feel a pulse anymore. He's dead.

"Clint?" Laura walks in to the room, as I stand up. My hand are covered in blood, Barney's and Cole's. "Are you okay Clint?"

"I'm sorry." I say to her, as she sees who I'm standing over. Both people I'm standing over.

"COLE!" She screams as the kids come running. I keep them out. I can't let them see this. Luckily he's behind the kitchen island.

"Unc Clint?" Lila says.

"Yeah Lil?" I reply, unable to look at her.

"Is that blood?"

"It's… It's ketchup." I have to lie. Cooper can tell that it isn't, but doesn't tell Lila what it is. I love these kids too much to tell them that their daddy's dead, although it'll be me who does it eventually.

My phone rings bit I can't pick it up. I can't spread this blood anymore. I can't move. Lila fishes it out of my pocket and with her three year old fingers and answers. I don't realise it's my S.H.I.E.L.D. phone until it's too late. "Hi Auntie Nat!" I hear and breathe. It's not Fury. "Yeah, Unc Clint's right 'ere." She takes the phone away from her ear and loudly whispers, "She wants talk to you."

I wave my hand towards her and she gives me my phone. "Where are you Barton?"

"At… At Laura's place." I reply, breathing heavily.

"You okay?" She knows that I'm not.

"Cole's gone."

"As in dead?" Natasha seems shocked and I guess that it is shocking. We live with death every day, but this is different. This is not in S.H.I.E.L.D. land, this is the land which normal people live in, where death is not normal, not regular. It's not okay.

"Yeah."

"Did you get the fucker?"

"Yeah."

"You ID'd him?"

"Didn't need to. He used to be my brother."

"Fuck. I'm almost there." I need Natasha there now. I need her to help me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Yes, I'm awful. But there had to be an explanation for where he is for Age of Ultron.**

 **So this story doesn't have much long left, I think. Unless, someone has an idea about what can happen after Age of Ultron. Because I'm guessing there's about 3/4 chapters left before then, and after that I'm stuck. So if you get any ideas feel free to PM me or leave a review :)**

* * *

 **22 SEPTEMBER 2012**

"Is Auntie Nat coming?" Cooper asks quietly. I think he's realised what's happened.

"She's going to take you to a park or something."

"Clint?" Nat's voice comes into the air. I push the kids towards her.

"Take them out, please."

"Do you want me to...?"

"If you can." Nat takes each of them by the hand and leads them out.

I shut the door and sit down next to Laura, who has his head in her arms. "Thanks." She stutters out. I think she might be in some sort of shock.

"He said… He said that he loved you, Coop and Lil, and he wants me to keep you all safe."

"I love him so much." I know that she does.

I pull out a body bag from one of my pockets, which I brought just in case. I put Barney's body in to it, pulling out the arrow, ignoring the blood which squirts all over my arms. I never want to see his face again. After what he's done, he doesn't even deserve anyone to mourn for him. I drag his body away.

I stand up and look in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. I grab the bleach and begin to scrub. I scrub and scrub while Laura just stares in to his eyes. She's dying over and over again.

It's all clean, but every time I blink I can see blood spots reappearing. My brother's blood, my brother in law's blood. I grab the first aid kit and clean Cole's wounds. I clean and stich them, the one in his stomach and the one in his neck. Once he looks okay, I clean Laura's hands. I never realised how small they are.

"Clint… Will they be okay?" She asks me, with tears in her eyes, but none have spilled yet.

"Laurie… they'll… they didn't see him. They can't see him, okay, because I can still remember mom and dad's bodies and I was five as well. Okay?"

"I do too. I love him. I'll always love him." She tries to breathe. "Clint… Clint do you remember when you said that you could keep me safe? You said that you could move me to a safe house where no one would know we existed. Can you still do that?"

"I can. It might take a few days, but I can."

"Thanks. I just want to keep them safe."

"It's okay to cry Laurie." I tell her.

 **25 SEPTEMBER 2012**

You want to know where Laura asked if she could move to?

Iowa.

One of the three bloody states I promised myself I would never set foot in again.

But you know, I get her a house anyway. I find her a great farmhouse with a farm and everything so she can get the kids growing their own veg and stuff, maybe get some chickens. I know that I'll end up doing it all up and knocking down walls, but for now I'm settling for just painting the walls.

And knocking down a few walls to give the kids bigger bedrooms.

 **1 OCTOBER 2012**

"Mommy?" Lila asks in her sweet little voice.

"Yeah honey?" Laura replies, leaning down to pick the little girl up.

"Is this where we're going to live?"

"Yeah." Laura says. I haven't showed her any pictures or anything of the house and she's surprised. I'm not exactly sure what she thought it would be like, but I think it might be bigger than she's imagined.

"Uncle Clint?" Cooper asks.

"Yeah Coop?" I reply.

"Are you staying here?"

"For a little bit."

"Will daddy ever come back?" Lila asks.

"Umm, Lil, I…" Laura stumbles and digs herself a hole. I need to save her.

"No, sweetie."

 **12 OCTOBER 2012**

"Thanks so much Clint. For everything."

"You're welcome Laurie. Any time, you know that?"

"Yeah. I'll be staying in the country for the next few weeks, okay? So call me or Natasha or Phil if you need to."

"Okay. Bye Clint."

"See you soon."

"Bye bye Uncle Clint!"

"Bye bye Uncle Clint!"

"See ya soon Coop, and you too sweetie."

 **13 OCTOBER 2012**

"They doing okay?" Natasha asks when I get back.

"As well as they can be." I reply, wondering when I will be able to see them again.

"What about Laura?"

"She's... falling apart inside but she's putting up a front for the kids."

"At least she's well enough to do that."

"I guess. It just feels like something's really wrong. I mean, last May, I asked her about moving-"

"Again?"

"Again, yes, and she just seemed so against it, even though aliens had just attacked Earth. She told me she would never bow down to my 'idiotic'" - yes I do make those quotation marks with my fingers - "demands, and that she wasn't ever going to just 'throw her life away'" - again with the fingers - "over some stupid threat of attack-"

"That was before she was attacked, Clint. People change their minds about things which could save their life after its been threatened, or someone close th them has gone-"

"But not my sister. She'd never back down from a fight. She wouldn't change-"

"Is she the little girl you remember, Clint?"

"Sometimes. She's still Laura, but she's... different I guess."

"And she'd definitely would never change, would she?" I'm slightly confused, so I take a second to work it out, but Natasha turns and begins to walk away.

"Wait, Tasha, I didn't-" The doors close behind her and I can almost see the smirk radiating off her body. "Damnit."


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this took so long! School's back and its not good.**

* * *

 **DECEMBER 2012**

It's almost Christmas. The kids' first one without their daddy. And I can't be there either. I'm in New Zealand, and I really don't want to be. Surprisingly, I've never actually been here before. And I'm alone this time. Natasha took a hit last mission and got told to have a couple of week's personal time. I guess having Auntie Nat around this Christmas will be almost as good as having Uncle Clint.

 **DECEMBER 2012**

My missions over, intel has been acquired. And it's only 11:45. I've still got 15 minutes of Christmas day left. So I call Laura. She'll still be awake, right? Her and Nat will probably be up talking. That's what they normally do. Laura doesn't pick up. So I call again. And again. As I begin to freak out, I remember that Nat's there. So I begin to dial her mobile. However, Laura calls me back. "Clinton. Francis. Barton." She begins.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you pick up?"

"Because it is almost five am and I have a three year old daughter who hardly ever sleeps through the night. And I told the kids they couldn't get up before 6:30, because it is Christmas day Clinton, or did you forget that?"

"I forgot that time zones were a thing. Sorry. Really sorry. Christmas day is almost over here, there's like five minutes left."

"Where the hell are you?"

"New Zealand."

"Are you okay? Are you coming home?"

"I'm coming home as soon as I can. And I'm fine. I promise. I'll be home before tomorrow."

"Please come home soon Clint. I miss you."

"I miss you too Laurie."

"I miss him Clint. I really miss him. I don't… I love him. I really want to see him again. Just to hear his voice. His laugh. And if I lost you too, Clint... I…" She starts to cry and I can't do anything about it.

"It'll be okay-"

"No, it won't. He's never coming back. He's never going to see me again. He's never going to come to once of Coop's football games of scare off any of Lil's boyfriends. He's not going to be there when you inevitably die, because one day you're going to do something stupid and you will die."

"Laura?"

"I'm sorry Clint, I didn't mean it. It's just… the truth."

"I know. And that's the scary part."

"Come home Clint."

"Get some sleep Laurie. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll be 15 hours."

 **DECEMBER 2012**

It's still the same day, but it's not. This day is just going to be a really long one. One of the reasons why I got Laura a farm with next to no neighbours is because that means she has lots of fields around the house. And that means that no one will notice if a plane lands here, because even with the cloaking technology on, it still kicks up a lot of wind. It's nine in Iowa currently and I wouldn't be surprised if Laura's let the kids stay up, especially now she knows that I'm coming.

Natasha's waiting for me on the front porch. I guess she must have heard the plane coming down. She's got one of those paper crowns on her head that you get in Christmas crackers, and I want to take a picture because it's Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, and she's so terrifying and assassin like and this is so... well... normal. And cute. But mostly normal.

"Was it you calling at 5 am?" She asks accusingly.

" _Hi Clint, how are you?_ I'm okay thanks, just got a little bruised from a small fight. How are you? _Oh I'm great, my ribs just hurt when I stand up and for some reason I'm wearing a party hat which is totally not out of character._ "

"Oh really? _Hi, I'm Clint and I have conversations with myself_."

"Aww Tasha."

"My ribs don't hurt." I can see her wincing ever so slightly every time she breathes, even more as she gets up.

"Don't even try to lie about that one."

I creep inside quietly, hoping to scare my sister. I put a hand in her back and all she says is " Tasha I was wondering where you- oh. Hi Clint."

"Uncle Clint!" Cooper says half excitedly, half really tired. He and his sister are sitting on the same couch, and Lila's asleep. "We're watching a movie." The polar express. I really hate that one for some reason. Maybe it's the animation. Or that I've seen it too many times.

"Hey Coop. Hi Laura. Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"Mommy said we could stay up until the movie finishes. But Lila fell asleep anyway."

"I can see."

"Clint... umm... Yeah. Later... Yeah... Can I talk to you later about earlier?"

"Sure. But for now, do you have any beer?"

"Nope."

"It is Christmas. How do you not have any beer?"

"I'm kidding jeez."

The finishes about ten minutes after I get there and I'm tasked with carrying my niece to bed without waking her. It's difficult. Maybe I should widen the staircase after I finish retiling the bathroom. I get her upstairs and tuck her in to bed, kissing her head as I leave. As I open the door to leave, I hear "Uncle Clint?" In a really small, and kinda high pitched voice.

"Hey sweetie." I reply. "Go back to sleep."

"Can you stay?"

I sigh inwardly. I really wanted to talk to Laura about what she said earlier. "Sure." I tell Lila.

"I'm scared. There a monster under ma bed and he come to get me when I sleep." She explains. "Daddy scares 'im 'way."

"What does daddy do?"

"He stays." And that's how I end up staying with Lila for forty minutes. Laura and Natasha botch check on us separately, and I swear Natasha takes pictures. All I can say is that three year old sized beds are not supposed to have a fully grown man lie on them. That's a design flaw.

"Hey, I'm going to bed." Natasha says as I go downstairs. She knows that Laura and I have to talk alone.

I sit down next to Laura. She's turned to TV completely off, and she's waiting for me. "I didn't mean it Clint."

"You did. And it's true. I am going to die."

"Can we not talk about that?"

"Course. But it's not going to be any time soon, you know that? I can't leave you so soon, after Cole."

"I miss him so much. I can't… I can't…" Laura starts crying and it's all I can is to stay here and hold her.


	13. Chapter 13

**There's been a lot of excuses lately. Sorry. I've been really sick. But in** **the couple of seconds I haven't been attempting to cough up my guts I wrote this.**

* * *

 **MARCH 2014**

So S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. Natasha put everything online and then got Stark to delete it. I saw the Triskelion falling in a crappy bar in Cairo. Although I guess that since S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't exist anymore, I don't have to complete the mission, but I do anyway because it's the right thing to do. Because we have to be the shield between the world and the much weirder world. And this guy is hoarding alien shit. So I make sure that he'll never do that again.

After that I find an airport and fly economy to New York. I guess that all my safe houses have been put online and they're not so safe anymore. And this is the reason why I didn't put Laura anywhere on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s network. No one knows about her, still, but I do a quick google search on my phone before the plane takes off.

There's no mention of Laura Isabel Barton. Or Sandar. Thank God.

It's easy to find Stark's Tower. Except it's got the Avengers A instead of the STARK it had before.

You know, I've only been in to the Tower like twice. And this time the guy on the desk won't let me in.

Apparently I need an ID.

I can't use my phone to call anyone because it's probably not secure anymore, and it's likely that I don't have any credit, since S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fund are probably all frozen or gone.

Eventually Natasha comes in to the lobby. "Hey Clint." She says like I haven't been waiting here for three hours. I get up and attempt to enter the lift with her but I'm stopped once again by the guy on the desk. Natasha sweet talks him for a few minutes, allowing me to slip past him and get upstairs. Finally.

Natasha catches up to me seconds later. "We were wondering when you were going to get here." She tells me. "I thought you might go check on Laura, but then I thought that you might be a bit paranoid about her safety and think that someone was tailing you."

"Who's we?"

"Me, Rogers, Stark and Banner. Banner's been here since New York, Stark since is mansion went under in Malibu and Rogers and I got here yesterday, cause he almost drowned and got shot a couple of times and the hospital in DC insisted that they kept him."

"Where's Thor?"

"Best guess is Oslo, Jane Foster is consulting there at the moment so I guess he'll be there." We're almost at the top now, where I guess all the others will be. "Prepare yourself for Stark." Natasha says. "Someone gave him a little too much coffee this morning."

I'm willing to bet that it's Tony who's given himself a lot of coffee. And that he does it most days, not just today. "Feathers! Finally!" He says and I sigh, but smile. I only knew these guys for a week or two, but they are just so crazy that I can fit right in. "Where were you?"

"Cairo." I reply.

"Did you finish your mission?" Comes a voice from the corner and I recognise it as Maria Hill's.

"You're here?" I'm surprised as I guessed that Hill would be wherever Fury's holed up. "And yeah, I did."

"Agent Hill here is my new personal assistant. Anyway, who's going to go and get Thor? We can't leave him outta the party."

* * *

Eventually I'm able to talk to Natasha alone. After a few hours, mind you. I can be sociable… sometimes. "Have you called her?"

Natasha immediately knows exactly who I'm talking about. "No. I thought it'd be too dangerous. I don't have a secure phone anymore."

"Neither do I. Do you think Hill will?"

"I'm counting on it."

Thank God she does, and she's willing to lend it to me. I think Fury might've told her about Laura's little set up, because she doesn't seem that surprised.

I'm not surprised that Laura doesn't pick up on the first ring. It's an unknown number. I trained her better than that. She does on the third, but she seems terrified. "Who is this?"

"Laurie." I breathe. Thank the gods she's okay. No one's got her yet. She's still okay.

"Clintohmygodareyouokay?" She's speaking so fast I can barely make out the words.

"I'm fine. I was in Cairo when everything was happening. I am perfectly fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I was just worried about you and Tasha, but then she did that press conference and I knew she was okay, but you weren't there and I thought that you two were inseparable so I got really worried and I couldn't call either of you because you both have S.H.I.E.L.D. phones which have probably been hacked."

"We haven't used them either. I'm at Stark Tower now, with Tasha and all the others, except Thor, and we're all okay. But I don't know when I'll be able to come home and see you. The others are surprisingly nosy."

"It's okay… just give me a call once in a while. Get yourself a new phone." I crack a smile. I think I can hear someone talking to her, but I can't make out the words. "I'm talking to Uncle Clint." Laura says. "Okay… I'll be there in a minute honey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Cooper wants some help with his homework."

"Go then. I'll talk to you again soon."

"I want to talk to Nat next time. Love you, Clint."

"Sure. Love you too. Bye."


	14. Chapter 14

**Second to last chapter (at the moment) and this story has just become my most alerted!**

 **It's Age of Ultron time.**

 **27 APRIL 2015**

"You gonna answer that Clint?" Natasha asks as my phone rings. I've just finished with the regeneration tissue sciency thing, and now we're all just sitting around. Well, Nat, Thor and I are. Steve's with Maria, Bruce and Tony are working on the sceptre.

"I…" We both know who's on the other end of the phone, and she made me promise to tell her whenever I got hurt. And I really don't want to do that. But then again, Nat will tell her anyway.

"She'll be worried about you!"

I get up and answer the phone. I start walking away, because I don't know if Thor is actually asleep or is just pretending. "Hi." I say.

"Clint, I was worried, I know I shouldn't be but the Avengers were on the news again, in Sokovia?"

"Yeah, we were there." I keep walking, past the lab and upstairs.

"Are you with the other guys?" There's an empty room to my left and I step inside.

"I'm alone now."

"Are you okay?"

"They've patched me up now."

"Shot?" I don't even know what happened to be honest. The kid did something, but I have no clue what. All I know is that it hurt like hell.

"Kinda. I was hit by a speeding object. Are you okay? The kids?"

"We're all alright. Missing Tasha."

"And not me?!"

"Oh yeah, you too. Happy Birthday for yesterday, by the way."

"Thanks. I think I hear footsteps." I tell her. They're Steve's, when he's walking normally, he has very heavy footsteps.

"Make sure you stay safe, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

"See you soon Clint."

"Gotta go."

 **29 APRIL 2015**

I'm half carrying Nat through my field as the other Avengers follow, all wondering exactly where we are. I don't want the kids to see Nat like this but I can't do anything about it.

"What is this place?" Thor asks. I wouldn't be surprised if he's never seen a farmhouse before.

"Safe house." Tony replies. I can tell he's a bit sceptical the house. Sure it's not as grand as his tower, but I like it. It's homely.

"Let's hope."

I walk inside, with everyone else following me. Natasha shrugs me off and stands on her own. "Laurie I'm back!" I call out and it's a couple of seconds before I see her but she's okay. She's alive. "I've company, sorry I didn't call ahead." I breathe and give her a massive hug. She's kinda freaking out that the Avengers are actually in her house, but I can understand that.

Stark seems a bit confused, insinting that, "This is an agent of some kind." I guess it's hard to accept that some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents can actually have families.

"Gentlemen, this is Laura." I tell them.

"I know all your names." Laura says awkwardly.

And then I hear kids running. "Incoming." I say quietly, preparing to have Cooper and Lila jump on me.

"Sweetie, buddy, how're you guys doin'?"

"These are… smaller agents." Stark says and I can't help but grin. I've outwitted Tony Stark.

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?"

"Why don't you hug her and find out?" Natasha says, and I know she's not okay, but I know she's better. She's well enough to put up a front for Lila.

"Sorry for barging in on you." Steve tells Laura.

"Yeah we would have called ahead but we were busy having no idea you existed."

"Yeah well Fury helped set this up a couple of years back, a few months after New York. He kept it off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files I'd like to keep it that way. Figured it's a good place to lay low."

The boys start talking and Thor walks out with Steve following. Nat puts Lila down and walks over to Laura. They hug. "I missed you." Laura tells her.

"I missed you too." Natasha replies.

"So you're married?" Tony asks me and I realise that I've never said that Laura was my sister. And he thinks that she's my wife. I laugh. "You're not?" I laugh again.

Laura rolls her eyes and is about to say something when Cooper tugs on my sleeve. "Uncle Clint?" He says. "Is that really Captain America?"

"Yeah sweetie. His real name's Steve." I say, still smiling.

"And mommy said to say happy birthday to you. Hi Steve! I'm Lila."

"Hi… umm… Lila." Steve is so awkward it's almost cute. Lila drags him away, and Steve looks to Tony, yes _Stark,_ for help. He just shakes his head.

"So she's your sister?" Stark asks, a little far behind on the times.

"Yeah."

"It's your birthday?"

"Four days ago."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"That's because I didn't tell you."

 **29 APRIL 2015**

Laura goes upstairs and I follow, because I need to talk to her alone. "Are you sure you're okay Clint?"

"You worried for nothing, you can't even see the difference, can you?" I tell her.

"If they're sleeping here some of them are gonna have to double up."

I quickly laugh. "That's not gonna sell."

"Then I guess you and Nat will have to sleep in the sunroom." Laura teases. That's my latest project. I'm reflooring the sunroom.

"I'll finish the floor soon, I promise. As soon as I can."

"Yeah, then you'll find another part of the house to tear apart."

"No, it's the last project, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I smile, although I know that I want to do the barn up next. It's almost falling apart and just begging to be rebuilt. I don't realise how silent it's been until Laura speaks again. "It's bad right? Nat seems really shaken."

"Ultron has these allies, these kids, punks really…" I tell her, trying to describe the Maximoff twins, especially Wanda's power. Laura knows about what happened to me during New York, what Loki did to me. "They carry a big damn stick, Nat took a serious hit. Someone's gotta teach 'em some manners."

"That someone being you? You know I totally support your avenging. I couldn't be prouder. But I see those guys, those gods-"

"You don't think they need me." I accuse, which is true. I probably am the most useless person on the team. What was Natasha saying yesterday? _Pretending to need this guy really brings the team together_?

"I think they do, which is a lot scarier." She tells me. She thinks I'm important. Maybe I'm the one bringing the real life to the Avengers, because they're all so insanely make-believe. Thor is literally a myth. Tony is a guy in a flying metal suit. Steve survived almost seventy years in an ice block. Bruce turns in to a green rage monster. Natasha's a girl and that's as weird as fuck. "They're a mess."

"Yeah." I tell her. "I guess they're my mess."

"You need to be sure that this team is really a team, and that they have your back. If you… I need… just be sure."

"Yes ma'am." I say slowly. She thinks I'm going to die. She thinks that I'm going to be murdered. She thinks that I'm going to leave her, just like he did.

"I can see the difference." She says as I pull my shirt off and put a new one on. She's intolerable.

"And happy thirty fourth, old man."

God she is so annoying!


	15. Chapter 15

**30 April 2015**

Normally on missions I don't bring a photo with me, in case I get captured or I lose it and it could be used against me. This time though, I have a team of backup, and I think Ultron would rather kill than capture. I have one of Nat, Laura and the kids that I put in my inside pocket. I guess it's my version of dog tags, but I suppose that if my body's burned enough to need tags, the photo would be ashes too. It's just something that reminds me who exactly that I'm fighting for.

I know that neither Laura or Nat would cope well, if at all with my death, and I know that I can't die. I can't die because the kids need at least their mom not to be a stranger.

And plus, I really do need to finish that sunroom.

 **1 May 2015**

I look at that Sokovian woman and all I see is Laura. Mainly when she lost Cooper in the park. She cries "Costel?!" And I jump off the boat, knowing that I have to find this little boy. I take a glance out at the market, and see something moving. Running over, the limbs make the shape of a little boy, about the same age as Cooper when he got lost. Picking him up, I begin to run back to the lifeboat but bullets rain down and I turn, hoping that I can just save this little kid. I close my eyes and mouth, hoping that blood doesn't stain my mouth when I die. I don't want anyone to see blood dripping from my mouth, but I know it will inevitably happen. Tasha's going to kill me. I hope she's the one who tells Laura, because she won't take it from anyone else. The kids only lost their dad three years ago. I'm going to ruin their life when I die. I'll destroy all of them, like the bullets are going to destroy this photo.

The bullets rain down but not on me. I take a breath and put down the kid, wondering what saved me. When I turn, I hear, "Didn't see that coming?" Which is kinda ironic as he's always using that to tease me and now he's saved me. I don't realise he's dying until he collapses. I didn't mean it when I said that when I last saw him Ultron was sitting on him, but now I guess its true. And I do miss him already. No one's ever died to save me before. People have taken bullets, but no one has ever die.

 **3 May 2015**

I make it home.

I actually make it. I never thought it would come that close.

I hate how Laura never locks her door if she's in. She says it's something to do with letting the kids run in and out.

I throw my kit bag down and Laura turns. She hugs me. "Flying city?" She asks quietly, before the kids realise I'm here. I nod in reply.

"Anyone else here?" I call out, although I can clearly see that they're reading (how the hell did Laura manage that?) on the sofa.

"Uncle Clint!" Lila jumps up and runs, expecting me to lift her up, but I can't. My arms are really tired still from yesterday and she's getting heavier. Instead, I crouch down to her height (ignoring my screaming quads) as Cooper joins us.

"Hi sweetie, hey buddy, how're you guys doin'?"

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" Lila asks, ignoring my question completely.

"Not this time. She has a lot of work to do."

"And you don't?" Laura asks quietly, and I realise that she's asking how long I can stay.

"Not for a few days. Steve said I had to come and see you guys for a couple of days, talk things out, maybe finish that sunroom."

"So where is she?"

"She's in New York, with all those other people who came here the other day."

"Is they coming?"

"Are, sweetie. And no."

"Oh. Stevie said he would come and play with me again."

"Did he let you call him Stevie?" I ask, in no way looking for blackmail at all.

"Yeah." I guess I'll have to give _Stevie_ and Nat a call at some point then, not to tease Steve obviously. Just because Lila misses them. I tell her I'll give them a call tomorrow.

 **4 May 2015**

After about two hours of begging from Lil ("You _said_ you would call tomorrow and it _is_ tomorrow!") I finally give in and call Nat. "Hey Clint." She says, slightly out of breath. "I was wondering when you would call."

"Hi. Everything okay over there?"

"Yeah. All these recruits have seen me fight already though, so not one of them volunteered to be beaten up by me." That's always Natasha's favourite part of training- when the recruits get too cocky and think they can beat her, because she's a girl.

"That's a damn shame, Nat. Anyway, I've got a little girl here who's been begging me to call you for the past-"

"Hurry up!" Lila demands and I can't help but laugh.

"I'm being very quick. Anyway, don't give it to Stevie before I've talked to him."

Natasha's _"what?"_ Is lost while I pass the phone over to my niece.

Natasha puts up with Lila's babbling for about seven minutes before Lil asks to talk to _'Stevie' ._ I get my phone back to say goodbye to Tasha, who quickly gives hers to Steve and says that she'll talk to me later.

He quickly says hi, and since he too is slightly out of breath, I've gotta assume that they were training the New Avengers.

Then he asks the obvious question. "Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Well a little birdie told me, Stevie, that you promised to play with her again."

"I am coming-"

"Yeah whatev-" Lila can't wait any longer and snatches the phone off me.

"Now listen here Stevie..." She begins.

When my phone returns in twenty-five minutes, I can't help but laugh. Steve's still on the line. America's golden boy has been apologising and for almost half an hour.

 **6 May 2015**

The worst part of coming out here is always leaving, especially when I don't know when I'm going to come back. I know there'll be one day when I don't come back at all, but I don't think that will be anytime soon. I know that the Avengers are in no way a perfect team, but I think I can trust them to keep me safe- or at very least alive.

* * *

 **So that's it for now. Thank you to all those who've read Laura and an even bigger thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! I've really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Thanks again!**


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